Renters

Missy and Harry stand at the bank of a retention pond behind a small brick house.

"Can Nugget swim in it?" Missy says.

"Yeah, I think so," Harry says.

"It looks dirty, there are tires in it," she says.

"We will ask Stacy," he says.

"If Nugget can swim in it we should sign today," she says.

"Yes," he says.

"That would make it perfect," she says.

"It sure would," he says.

Missy bends down and picks up a very flat rock. She flings it sidearm at the water and it skips along the surface three times before disappearing.

"These are good skipping rocks," she says.

"They do seem that way," he says.

"If we move here, we will get really good at this," she says.

"We could have contests when we grill out," he says.

Harry bends down and picks up a rock of his own. It takes eight skips before sinking.

"Eight skips! Where'd you learn to do that?" she says.

"My brother, he taught me," he says.

"Oh," she says.

Inside they sit down on a linoleum floor in an empty room. The walls are paneled with wood.

"Is this the living room?" she says.

"I'd say so," he says.

"I've never seen floors like this in a living room," she says.

"We could really do something with this," he says.

"I can see us watching football in here," she says.

"Me too," he says.

"And our very first fireplace. Did your brother teach you to build fires too?" she says.

"No," he says.

Missy smiles. Harry's phone rings.

"Hello," he says.

"Hey Stacy," he continues.

"No problem at all, we are in here just looking around."

"Yeah, the back door was open."

"Take your time."

He ends the call and returns the phone to his pocket.

"He's running late," Harry says.

"Damn," Missy says.

"Fifteen minutes," he says.

"Maybe we should write down our questions," she says.

"I'll get my notebook out of the car," he says.

"Wait," she says.

"What?" he says.

"I thought Stacy was a girl," she says.

"Nope. He sounded upset. I don't think he's happy we are already inside," he says.

"The door was open," she says.

"That's what I told him," he says.

"We want him to sell it to us, we don't want to look desperate," she says.

"No notebook?" he says.

"No notebook," she says.

In an empty bedroom, Missy opens the blinds. The next-door neighbor is gardening.

"She would be a great neighbor I bet," he says.

"She could teach us to have green thumbs," she says.

"That would be perfect," he says.

"It would be," she says.

Stacy arrives in an old red pickup truck. They watch him from the window. He parks behind their car. He waves to the neighbor. She waves back. He stops at Missy and Harry's car and peers into the driver's side window.

"That's strange," he says.

"Yes," she says.

"He is older than he sounded on the phone," he says.

"Older and not a girl," she says.

They find Stacy examining the back door where they entered. He opens and closes it a few times.

"You must be Harry and Missy," Stacy says.

"That's us," Missy says.

"Nice to meet you," Harry says.

He examines the hinges and checks the locks. He shakes his head.

"Normally, I let the police deal with problems like this," Stacy says.

"Problems?" Harry says.

"The door was open when we got here," Missy says.

"Well, it wasn't me," Stacy says.

They glance at each other. Stacy notices. He takes off his glasses and massages his eyes.

"What kind of vacuum cleaner do you own?" Stacy says.

"The normal kind," Missy says.

"How often do you use it?" Stacy says.

"Once a week," Harry says.

Stacy laughs and puts his glasses back on.

"That's what I thought. Carpet is meant to be vacuumed daily. It's okay. You didn't know, most people don't."

Stacy leads them down a hall to a bedroom.

"How old do you think this carpet is?" Stacy says.

"I don't know," Harry says.

"Three?" Missy says.

"Add twenty to that," Stacy says.

"Twenty-three years old?" Harry says.

"And it looks brand new because it was vacuumed daily when me and my wife lived here," Stacy says.

"Wow," Missy says.

"I know," Stacy says.

Stacy looks at his watch and sighs.

"Well, you've seen the place on your own, do you have any questions?" Stacy says.

"Can our dog swim in the pond?" Missy says.

"Sure. I don't recommend it for you, but I imagine it's okay for dogs. Anything else?" Stacy says.

"No," they say together.

Stacy leads them into the kitchen and pulls a stack of papers out of a drawer. He slams it shut. Harry and Missy flinch.

"This is the rental application. I don't expect to see either of you again, and I can't afford to give one to everybody that comes in here. If you are truly interested, if you're ready to commit to vacuuming every single day, you can take one with you to fill out," Stacy says.

They take one. Stacy lets them out through the front door but stays inside. They get in their car and wait. Stacy's truck is blocking them from leaving.

"What an ass," she says.

"I wouldn't live in that place in a million years," he says.

"Never," she says.

"It's ugly," he says.

She crumples the application into a ball and throws it in the back seat.

"Wooden walls?" she says.

"Stacy as our landlord?" he says.

"Impossible," she says.

"What the hell is he doing in there?" he says.

"Probably vacuuming," she says.

They both laugh until they are teary-eyed. They stop and continue to wait.

"He doesn't realize he is blocking us," he says.

"I'll tell him," she says.

Missy jumps out of the car and heads back inside. She hears the vacuum cleaner the moment she opens the door. She grins. She can't wait to tell Harry she was right. Her smile is interrupted by another sound, someone singing, or maybe laughing. She walks into a hallway full of closed doors. At the end of the hall, one door is slightly ajar. Missy can see Stacy pushing and pulling the vacuum cleaner with his right hand while holding the cord with his left. He is too caught up in his task to notice Missy. The other sound is not a person singing. The other sound is not a person laughing. Stacy sobs as he maneuvers the vacuum cleaner around the room.

"He is in the bathroom," Missy says.

"You could've knocked and let him know," Harry says.

"I think he may be sick. Plus I didn't want him to shoot me through the bathroom door," Missy says.

Harry chuckles.

"You can get around his truck if you're careful," she says.

Missy stands behind the car and directs Harry as he steers around Stacy's truck. They drink too much at dinner, and Missy laughs at everything Harry says.

The end.